The Story of my childrens birth

I had the worst pregnancy ever. I was so scared all the time. Something in me knew that I was going to go in to pre mature labor though. The story of my babies birth starts when I went to the hospital because I wasn't feeling good. They hooked me up to the machine and realized that I was in active labor. Since the hospital I was at didn't have a NICU they rushed me by ambulance to a hospital that was 20 mins away. Upon arrival, I was placed on magnesium and they gave me a steroid shot. I was so scared; I didn't want my babies to come at 25 weeks. Luckily and unluckily, that time they were able to stop the contractions. In the hospital, the docs thought that my Pre-term labor was due to dehydration so they kept me from Sunday to Thursday. I went home with a zofran pump to control my never ending nausea. At home, I wasn't feeling much better but at least I wasn't puking my guts out. Then on Sunday July 24th 2005 I wasn't feeling my son moving as much. Then I called the hospital to ask if I should come in and they said you are fine. Later that evening, I felt this dropping sensation in my stomach. I made Corey rush me to the hospital. I sent him home and told my mom not to come because I would be fine. All night I was having contractions and pain. They gave me a pain pill so I was in and out but I kept begging for a doctor. They didn't come but I was so drugged up I didn't realize anything. The next morning, I awoke to doctors coming in telling me that they were going to do a c-section because I was still contracting. They checked my cervix and realized that my sons head was already ready to come out. They rushed me in to the operating room and put me under general anesthesia and CJ was born at 10:32 and Rachel made her appearance at 10:36am. My first feelings as a parent was a feeling of failure. I didn't know what to do. I just thought that maybe I did something to deserve this to happen. I have never felt such conflicting feelings in my life. I love my daughter and I don't want to dwell on the loss because the reality is that I am still blessed. I got 8 days with my beautiful son and I have a beautiful daughter. So in honor of my son's memory and my daughters life from the NICu to now here is a slideshow of Miss Rachel.